The next few weekends in February are going to be tough for me. Alan will be spending the next 2 weekends away from us, on separate youth trips/events. This means I will be home alone for two weekends in a row, with Silas and the animals, after working with high school students all week.
During times like these, I can't help but be jealous of those I know who have a support system of family, or even friends, near them to help. When I think of people I know who had date nights with their spouse just weeks after their baby was born, or those who are pregnant and will have that opportunity whenever they like, I feel a little bitter. In the 10-months since Silas was born, Alan and I have had one true date night. That's it.
I don't want to whine...that's not why I am writing this.
We knew things would be tough...so this was no surprise.
But, as Alan and I talked about this the other day, we both came to a realization: We are truly blessed. That may sound obvious, or even cliche, but it's true--and probably not in the ways expected.
Yes, we are blessed to even have a child. Many families can't have them. But we are beyond blessed.
Silas is a WONDERFUL baby. I know, I know, everyone thinks their baby is the best. But as we were talking, Alan and I started thinking about these things:
Silas was sleeping through the night by 5-weeks-old...and has been ever since.
He rarely cries. When he does, it's really not loud or ear-piercing, and it usually doesn't last long.
Silas is rarely sick. He has dealt with reflux since birth, but we've managed it. He had a bout of asthma last week due to his cold, but it's gone. That's it.
He is so mild-natured, and low maintenance. He is content to play in the living room by himself, crawling, pulling up, and scooting round and round.
Silas general plays well with other kids when he's been around them, even if they try to beat him up (like in the church nursery).
When we go out, he's an angel. He lets us eat dinner together, only occasionally needing attention. He sits quietly in the grocery cart, smiling and cooing at the old women in the store. As long as he is fed and dry, he is content.
Silas happily plays with toys in his car seat and eventually gives in to its magical sleeping powers.
He is already a ham! He makes noises to get our attention, mocks us when we laugh or cough, and gives us his tiny-tooth-filled grins--all of which melt both of our hearts.
Silas is our blessing. We firmly believe God has blessed us with such a wonderful baby on purpose. Whenever those feelings of jealousy and bitterness start to stir, I stop and think of all the things I just listed. How many other parents are lucky enough to be in our shoes? While things may not be exactly as we wish they could be, we have no reason to complain.
God is good, ALL the time.
